Truce - Dan Howell Fanfiction
by mrmistyeye
Summary: Songfic for 'Truce' by TØP. Based around the YouTuber Dan Howell. Rated T for strong language and may be triggering.


**A/N**

I'm just going to take a moment to explain the meaning of this fic.

Recently, I have become obsessed with the band 'Twenty One Pilots', and their song 'Truce' has inspired me majorly. If you've never heard of the song or the band before, I strongly advise that you listen to it/them because although their music may not appeal to everyone, their lyrics are truly beautiful and I know for a fact that they have saved many lives.

This is a fic based around the youtuber Dan Howell (who is also amazing and I suggest that if you don't already know who he is, you start watching his videos). It is set in the year 2016, but, obviously, that is quite a way away and so I have just assumed that life will be roughly the same then as it is now, except for one thing: this is no Phan fic. I know, surprising, as I am a massive Phan shipper - but this is a different type of fic to the Phan ones I used to write back in 2012/13. So let's imagine this scenario:

Phil has moved out of the London apartment with his girlfriend of a year and a half, Katie (her name is irrelevant to the fic, just trying to set the scene here). They now live back in Katie's hometown of Liverpool, so Dan doesn't get to see Phil often. Unlike his best friend, Dan has found no soulmate, and lives alone in the London apartment. He believes that Phil may have been his one true love (ooh fluff) and so he lives in a constant depressed state - hiding it in his videos, of course.

I think that's all you need to know, just a few disclaimers before we start.

Dan Howell and Phil Lester are _real human beings _and I do not intend to insult anybody over this fanfic. I am a fan of both of the two and I am aware that some people may take offence from this, so I feel like I should say that to reassure people that I am in no way criticising either of them.

Rated T for inappropriate language.

This may be triggering for some people, so if you are easily affected by that then perhaps you shouldn't read this.

I would like to thank my friends from the Cat Whisker Phamily, simply for being such amazing people and helping me through times when all I wanted to do was give up. I love you guys.

Please follow, favourite and review, because it truly does help me out. :)

* * *

I flipped open my camera and put it on the tripod, sitting down on my bed in the almost complete darkness. The only light was my bedside lamp and the small filtration of sunlight from the new dawn outside my window. I took a steady, deep breath and leaned forward to press _RECORD_.

"Hello, Internet," I managed to stutter out after a minute or so of complete silence. "Today isn't going to be a normal video." I could hear my voice shaking, and I ran my hand through my hair - who cares about the stupid fucking fringes anyway. My hair was greasy from stress sweat so it stuck upwards in a quiff. The sun was rising outside the apartment and my heart skipped a nervous beat. I had to finish this before dawn. "In fact, I wasn't quite sure if I wanted to post this video publicly at first, or if I should just send it to someone in particular, but this would be better I guess - for forensic purposes."

"I know that Phil and I have saved lives with our videos, and I don't want this to stop that. I want you guys to stay alive. Stay alive, for me. For Phil. We would never want our personal lives to affect you guys, and part of the reason that I'm posting this video publicly is to say that." I looked down at my hands in my lap, twisting my fingers around each other while I thought of what to say. There would be no editing in this video, therefore no cuts inbetween clips - "As you can see, I didn't script this..." I forced out a bleak laugh.

"If you ever need to talk to somebody, remember that I will be there. My videos will stay up here on YouTube and you can watch them whenever you feel the need. I care about you guys, I really do - I just need to do this for myself. I've tried to stay positive in my videos over the last year and a half, but I've seen on various social media websites that some of you lot have guessed correctly that I'm not actually very happy at all with my life at the moment." I thought carefully about how to word the next sentence. "Phil moved to Liverpool about this time last year. You know that. He found his soulmate - and she stole mine."

The rest of the video would be dedicated to Phil. At least I'd planned some of the structure. "Phil," My voice cracked a little. "I'm so proud of you, of what you've accomplished. You raised me to be who I am today almost as much as my parents did. And I can't say how thankful I am for you - how proud I am of you - and of myself, and what you have encouraged me to do over all these years. You should take pride in yourself." I looked down at my hands again. There were very few times when I fully noticed the beauty of the human body, and this was one of those times. I traced my veins along my wrist with my bitten down nail, mumbling quietly to myself about what I should say next.

"But Phil..." My eyes wandered back to the camera. "You love Katie. And I can never be with you. It's too late...you've found your love. And I will never get mine." Suddenly, I wasn't nervous anymore. I was _angry, _and I wanted to make sure that everyone who would watch the video would know that.

"My best and only friend moved away from me, and I am so lonely here in London nowadays." I spat out my words on the 'so lonely'. "Y'know, I thought of moving away from here. I suggested many ideas - even leaving the Internet forever. And that's the decision I've decided to choose." My face scrunched up as I tried not to cry. If I cried now, people online would make fun of me forever. "The radio show is a great example. It just wasn't the same when it changed to being 'the Internet Takeover with Dan". And live shows? Only around a quarter of the amount that used to watch them still do, because all of the 'Phan action' has gone."**  
**

_Calm down, _I told myself._ Calm down_. I exhaled and cast my eyes towards the two slips of paper next to me on my bed. One for the viewers, one for...whoever finds it. Probably the police. I picked up the second one (forgetting I would not be able to cut this part out of the video), and started reading. Good God, my handwriting was messy. Being left-handed had always been horrible for me personally, but when you can't read your own writing then you know that it needs to improve. No time for that now. I folded it back up again and looked at the camera, shaking any unwanted thoughts from my mind. "I love you guys. Thank you for always being there for me."

I got up from my bed and retrieved the bit of Blu-tac that I had placed on my desk prior to filming. I then went back to my bed, and back in shot of the camera, and joined the paper to the Blu-tac and also to my camera. It contained instructions of what to do with my camera - go to the Computer, upload the video, log out of my account forever. I split the tac onto the other piece of paper and secured it to the lens, just far away enough that the viewers would be able to see what it read. I stepped back and placed the gun to my temple. "I love you, Phil." The words rang in my mind as I pulled the trigger and I was sent spiralling down into darkness. My last thought was of what I had written on the slip of paper that the viewers would see:

_Goodbye, Internet. Don't punish yourselves._


End file.
